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KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

This week: Murder (prerecorded)

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.


LEADIN TRACK
'Weird Al' Yankovic\Bad Hair Day\10 I Remember Larry.mp3

AN AWFUL LOT OF KILLING 
Assassins (Broadway Revival Cast) - Everybody's Got The Right
Pine Box Boys - Stab
Monty Python - Psychopath
Arthur Fields - Oh How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning (1918)
Positive Attitude - Kill Seville
New Orleans SteamCOG Orchestra - Everyone Dies (But Me)
Joel, Mike & the Bots - Whom Shall I Kill?
Monty Python - Death of Mary, Queen of Scots

TO KILL OR NOT TO KILL
The Great Luke Ski - Murder Was the Play
William Shatner - Hamlet
The Brobdingnagian Bards - Oor Hamlet

WE COME TO MOURN THE DEATH OF "LUCKY" O'TOOLE
Tom Lehrer - The Irish Ballad
Denis Leary - Traditional Irish Folk Song
Da Vinci's Notebook - Another Irish Drinking Song
Mel Blanc - Lord Bless His Soul

BONUS MISFILED TRACK
Power Salad - Killer Resume

CUTE, ADORABLE, SQUISHY
The Consortium of Genius - Die Barney Die (2006 Version)
Ozzy Fudd - Kill the Wabbit
The Arrogant Worms - Kill the Dog Next Door
Bill Frenzer (Ogden Edsl) - Dead Puppies

DIGITAL DEATH COMES WHOLESALE
brentalfloss - Final Fantasy Victory Theme With Lyrics
Possible Oscar - Kill the Enemies
Insane Ian - Assassins Creed
Mikey Mason - Best Game Ever

REQUEST ROW
D.V.D.A. - What Would Brian Boitano Do?, Pt. 2 [Interpretation]
Andy Griffith - What It Was, Was Football, Pts. 1 & 2
Tom Smith - Trans Poly U Fight Song
The Great Luke Ski - Stealing like a Hobbit
Steve Goodie and Nuclear Bubble Wrap - Avada Kedavra

SUPER DUPER LONG BONUS TRACK
Monty Python feat. Peter Cook - Courtroom Sketch (Live) (Secret Policeman's Ball '79)


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KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: Sports

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST  AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

NOTICE: NEXT WEEK'S SHOW WILL BE PRERECORDED.

LEADIN TRACK
Monty Python - Novel Writing

THIS AIN'T MY FIGHT SONG
Tom Lehrer - Fight Fiercely, Harvard
Tom Smith - Trans Poly U Fight Song
Weird Al Yankovic - Sports Song

THE DROLL OF VICTORY, THE COMEDY OF DEFEAT
Monty Python - Olympic Shopping
Strong Bad Email #165  Strong Badathlon
Parry Gripp - Time For Tennis
Insane Ian - Ping Pong
Monty Python - Crocodile

A GOOD WALK SPOILED

Robin Williams - Golf
John Denver - 18 Holes (16 Tons Parody) (Live in Concert)
Lewis Black - Golfers
Drew Jacobs - You Ought to Throw Those Clubs Away
Jake Trout & The Flounders - I'm on 18

AMERICA'S PASTIMES
Palm Spring Yacht Club - Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Ragtime Broadway Cast - What a Game
Bob Newhart - Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball
George Carlin - Baseball and Football
Andy Griffith - What It Was, Was Football, Pts. 1 & 2
The Stan Freberg Show - College Footballer Francis "Butch" Sharmley

THE NOBLE ART
brentalfloss - Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! With Lyrics [Explicit]
Robin Williams - And Then There's Boxing
MadHatter - TKO

FASTER THAN YOU
Spike Jones feat. Doodles Weaver - The William Tell Overture
Redd Foxx - The Horse Race
Blümchen - Bicycle Race
Spike Jones feat. Doodles Weaver - Dance of the Hours

WHAT THEY DO UP NORTH
The Arrogant Worms - Me Like Hockey
Radio Free Vestibule - Hockey Capades
D.V.D.A. - What Would Brian Boitano Do?, Pt. 2 [Interpretation]

REQUEST ROW
Weird Al Yankovic - Gandhi II
The Credibility Gap - Kingpin
Jon and Al Kaplan - Conan: the Musical!
The Great Luke Ski - Stealing like a Hobbit
Steve Goodie and Nuclear Bubble Wrap - Avada Kedavra

BONUS TRACK
Power Salad - Lose is a Four-Letter Word

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KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: The Movies

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST  AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEADIN TRACK
The Muppets - Hey a Movie!

THE FUN OF THE THEATER
Monty Python - Live Broadcast from London: Premiere of the Film
City Slickers; Spike Jones - Popcorn Sack
Homestarrunner.com - Strong Bad Email: The Movies

RIDICULOUS MOVIE IDEAS
Patton Oswalt - Death Bed
Jon and Al Kaplan - Conan: the Musical!
Weird Al Yankovic - Gandhi II
The Credibility Gap - Kingpin

BUT AT LEAST THE MUSIC IS COOL
Henry Mancini - The Pink Panther Theme
Cincinnati Pops Orchestra; Erich Kunzel - The James Bond Theme, theme from film series
Cincinnati Pops Orchestra; Erich Kunzel - Theme from Shaft

ACCORDION TO HIM, THESE MOVIES ARE AWESOME
Weird Al Yankovic - Jurassic Park
Weird Al Yankovic - Gump
Weird Al Yankovic - Ode To A Superhero

TWO HOURS OF PLOT IN THREE MINUTES
The Great Luke Ski - You Don't Know Jack
The Great Luke Ski - Stealing like a Hobbit
The Great Luke Ski - Keanu Barada Nikto

I FEEL LIKE GETTING POTTED
Steve Goodie - Dumbledore
Steve Goodie and Nuclear Bubble Wrap - Avada Kedavra
Tom Smith - Dead Potters

SO MANY MOVIES, SO MUCH SUCK
Sudden Death - Earn Hollywood Earn by Possible Oscar [*]
Monty Python - Interview with Filmmaker Carl French
The Four Postmen - The Horrible Movie Song

THANK YOU FOR TALKING DURING THE MOVIE
The Great Luke Ski - Mystery Science Theater Picture Show
Joel, Mike & the Bots - Music From Some Guys In Space
Joel, Mike & the Bots - Godzilla Genealogy Bop
Joel, Mike & the Bots - Tribute to Pants
The Nick Atoms - Mst3k

REQUEST ROW
The Arrogant Worms - Kill the Dog Next Door
Monty Python - Parrot (Oh, Not Again)
Monty Python - Fish Licence
Monty Python - Eric the Half-A-Bee Song
C.O.G. - They Said I Was Mad

BONUS ENDING THEME
Joel, Mike & the Bots - Mighty Science Theater
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 KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: Pets

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST  AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

SLIGHTLY UNUSUAL PETS
The Monkees - Peter Percival Patterson's Pet Pig Porky
Spike Jones - Ya Wanna Buy a Bunny?
Monty Python - Fish Licence
Monty Python - Eric the Half-A-Bee Song

GIVE ME THE BIRD
The Bonzo Dog Band - Mr. Slaters' Parrot
Worm Quartet f/ the great Luke Ski - Your Bird Smells
Monty Python - Parrot (Oh, Not Again)

HERDING CATS
Mel Blanc - Pussy Cat Parade
MitchiriNeko March
The Pixies with Thurl Ravenscroft - Kitty Cats On Parade
Ray Stevens - The Cat Song
Tom Smith - Cat Macros
Power Salad - My Cat Is Afraid Of The Vacuum Cleaner (Me First and the Gimme Gimmes Style)

CELTFATHER OR CATFATHER?
Marc Gunn & the Dubliners' Tabby Cats - What Shall We Do with a Catnipped Kitty
Marc Gunn - I'll Tell My Cat
Marc Gunn - Kitty Cat

FEAR THE FELINE
Michael Palin - Diaries: Saturday Night Live
Lemon Demon - Kitten Is Angry
Tom Smith - Giant Monster

MAN'S THIRD BEST FRIEND
The Monkees - Gonna Buy Me a Dog
Ben Light and his Surf Club Boys - The Piddlin' Pup
Bob Newhart - A Friend With a Dog
Cheech & Chong - Ralph and Herbie

THE FIX IS IN
Marc Gunn & the Dubliners' Tabby Cats - The Old Woman and Her Cat (Dundee Cat)
Cosy Sheridan - The True and Terrible Trials of Waldo The Dog- Cosy Sheridan
Paul and Storm - Lose the Gonads

MR. KING ALREADY CLOSED THE PET SEMETARY
The Arrogant Worms - Kill the Dog Next Door
Hank, Stu, Dave & Hank - My Dead Dog Rover
The Consortium of Genius - Yer Dawg Iz Ded
They Might Be Giants - Youth Culture Killed My Dog
Bill Frenzer - Dead Puppies

KOREANS NEVER THOUGHT THIS JOKE WAS FUNNY
The Defectives - We Eat Kitty Cats- The Defectives
Bob Rivers (Twisted Tunes) - Cats In The Kettle
Robert Lund & Spaff.com - We Set the Dog on Fire

REQUEST ROW!
Sudden Death; Worm Quartet - Inner Voice
Consortium of Genius - They Said I Was Mad
Monty Python - The Naval Medley
Nerf Herder - Pervert
Monty Python - Sit on My Face

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 KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: S-E-X Pt. 1 - Down and Dirty

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST 
AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEAD-IN TRACK
Pervert - Ed Golden

AAAAAAAALL THE SEX
Monty Python - Sit on My Face
Spinal Tap - (Funky) Sex Farm
Hayseed Dixie - Feel Like Making Love
The Four Postmen - Let Me Make You Smile In Bed
The Consortium of Genius - All I Wanna Do Is You
Possible Oscar - Get Our Geek On
Ookla the Mok - Tantric Yoda
Tim Cavanagh - Really Safe Sex
Garfunkel and Oates - Handjob, Blandjob, I Don't Understand Job [Explicit]
Monty Python - The Naval Medley

SHAFTED
Lorne Elliot - The Smallest Thing Known To Man-
Devo Spice - Enhanced
Da Vinci's Notebook - Enormous Penis
Bowling for Soup - My Wena

PADDING
Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
Danny Birt - Lady Hath Bustle
Dave Elder & The Elderados - but but but
Spinal Tap - Big Bottom

A WORD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPONSOR
Radio Free Vestibule - Joe's Sex Shop

A SHOP WHERE YOU CAN'T TAKE THE MERCHANDISE HOME WITH YOU
Mike Toomey - What It Was, Was A Strip Club
Patton Oswalt - The Stripper
Paul and Storm - Strip Club Daddy (Studio Version)
Robert Lund & Spaff.com - Hey, Old Stripper
Cirque du So What - At the Strip Club on Carson Ave

THIS SET IS NOT HET
Corky & The Juice Pigs - Eskimo- Corky & The Juice Pigs
Raymond and Scum - Does This Make Me Gay?
Avenue Q Original Cast - If You Were Gay
Tom Smith - Two Guys Kissing Ruined My Life

REQUEST ROW
Mikey Mason - Mad
Modern Entertainment - Thorazine Shuffle
Sudden Death; Worm Quartet - Inner Voice
Consortium of Genius - Brain Wrap (feat. Dr. 'A')
Consortium of Genius - They Said I Was Mad

SPECIAL BONUS TRACK
Garfunkel and Oates - I Would Never (Have Sex with You) [Explicit]


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KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: INSIDE MY MIND

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST 
AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEAD-IN TRACK
Consortium of Genius - Brain Wrap (feat. Dr. 'A')

MATTER FOR THOUGHT
The Consortium of Genius - i think therefore i rock
They Might Be Giants - I Should Be Allowed to Think
Tom Smith - Hamster Brain
The Frantics - You Were Speeding
They Might Be Giants - A Self Called Nowhere

THE VOICES TELL ME TO DO THINGS
Lemon Demon - There's a Robot In My Head
Denis Leary - Voices in My Head
Sudden Death; Worm Quartet - Inner Voice
Donna Freberg; Donovan Freberg; Stan Freberg - Theater of the Mind
They Might Be Giants - Where Your Eyes Don't Go

CHANGE THE RECORD DAMMIT
The Arrogant Worms - Song Inside My Head [#][*]
Devo Spice - Earworm
Cartoon Planet - The Song That Doesn't End

CRACKING UP, NO REALLY
The Bonzo Dog Band - You Done My Brain In
They Might Be Giants - Lost My Mind
Leroy Pullins - I'm a Nut
Johnny Cash - Everybody Loves a Nut
Naploeon XIV - Split Level Head
Parry Gripp - I'm a Crazy Wierdo and I'm Calling You
Patton Oswalt - Great Food Is Cooked by Psychos
They Might Be Giants - Absolutely Bill's Mood

INSANITY FOR FUN AND PROFIT
The Zanies - The Mad Scientist
C.O.G. - They Said I Was Mad
Mikey Mason - Mad

THE KILLER CURES
Billy May; Daws Butler; Stan Freberg - The Lone Psychiatrist
Modern Entertainment - Thorazine Shuffle
Consortium of Genius - Lobotomy
Randy Hanzlick, M.D. - I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me (Than a Frontal Lobotomy)
Ray Stevens - I Used to Be Crazy [*]
Napoleon XIV - They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!

REQUEST ROW
TJ & The Revo - Too Late to Apologize
The Great Luke Ski - Aliens Just Don't Understand
Ookla the Mok - Super Powers
1776 Original Cast - But, Mr. Adams
Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con


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KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: INDEPENDENCE DAY / AMERICA

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST 
AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.
 
LEAD-IN TRACK
The Great Luke Ski - Aliens Just Don't Understand

WE JUST WANT TO HOLD SOME TRUTHS SELF-EVIDENT
TJ & The Revo - Too Late to Apologize
O 1776 Original Cast - But, Mr. Adams
Stan Freberg - Declaration of Independence: A Man Can't Be Too Careful What He ...
Schoolhouse Rock Fireworks

MUCH BANG
Rhett and Link - Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame
Paul and Storm - Ten-Finger Johnny [studio version]
Was (Not Was) - I Blew Up the United States

'MURICA!
Team America - America, Fuck Yeah (Album Version)
Stan Freberg - America! America!
Spinal Tap - America
Rammstein - Amerika (english Version)
College Humor - America Sucks Less

UM... 'MURICA?
Hugh Laurie's Song for America
Bowling for Soup; Parry Gripp; Scott Reynolds - America (Wake Up Amy)
Baldbox - U. S. F'n. A.
Animation Domination - Captain America Statistics Song
The Chris Waffle Experience - Teabaggin' the USA

I LOVE A PARADE
Paul Washington Marching Band - The Liberty Bell
Classical-Superfriends
Stan Freberg - Yankee Doodle Go Home (Spirit of '76)
P. D. Q. Bach w/Turtle Mountain Naval Base Tactical Wind Ensemble - Music for an Awful Lot of Winds & Percussion Mv. 4. Rondo

REQUEST ROW
Louis Armstrong - 'Zat You, Santa Claus?
Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers - Did You Heared What I Heared?
Ookla the Mok - Super Powers
Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con
Devo Spice - The Geeks Come Out at Night

BONUS TRACK
Kansas - Song for America
redneckgaijin: (Default)
So, yesterday National Public Radio live-tweeted their annual reading of the Declaration of Independence, causing some Trumpians to think it was an attack on their Glorious Leader.

I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and decide that they were out sick with the mumps... all five or six years they would have had the Declaration of Independence in school. 

Or, possibly, they didn't understand it, since the English used in the document is almost 250 years out of date, and moreover of a very posh and high-toned form which ordinary red-blooded Real Americans don't use.

With that in mind, here follows an interpretation of the Declaration of Independence into that parlance spoken by the inhabitants of America's trailer parks, in the native tongue of NASCAR, in words that Larry the Cable Guy and people who find him funny can easily understand.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Hey, y'all. This is the Congress of the Thirteen United States of America speakin'.

We're breakin' away from England, and we think it's only decent that we tell y'all why we're doin' it.

We think it's just dang obvious that everybody's born equal, with th' same God-given rights as anybody else to life, to liberty, and to try to find whatever makes you happy. Not everybody agrees, so people make governments to keep those other people from messin' with our rights. But sometimes government's more trouble than it's worth, and when that happens folks got th' right to tear it all down and start over. But that's hard work and it don't always go right, so most folks will put up with one hell of a lot before they say, "Screw it, anythin's better than this." But when ya got a king who wanst ta get all tyrannical, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, you know how it is?

That's where we're at now, us Colonies. Just look at all the stuff bad ol' Bug-Eyed George and his Parliament done did to us.

He won't let us pass the laws we need to keep us and our kids safe unless he signs off on 'em, an' when we send 'em to him, he never does nothin'. He says he'll start lettin' th' laws go through only if we give up our right to make our own laws, an' no honest king would be afraid'a that.

He keeps on movin' our government from place to place, jerkin' our chain an' wearin' us out, tryin' to get us to do what he wants. And that's when he ain't just goin' an' abolishin' our government entirely, leavin' us with no way to enforce the law or protect ourselves.

He keeps blockin' people from movin' here, and God knows we need all the people we can get to fill up this great big land.

He won't let us have our own courts and judges; he makes his own and makes sure they do what HE says instead'a what's right.

He hires his buddies as government workers who don't do anythin' 'cept cash their paychecks and sneer at us "provincials," and he makes us pay for it.

He's put his soldiers in our cities, even in our houses, when we don't want 'em, an' lets 'em do whatever they want, an' our cops and courts can't touch 'em.

He's set up Parliament in charge over us, when we never agreed to that and ain't never been run by them before, and he's signed off on all of THIS bad stuff they done: sent in more troops, put 'em above th' law, cut off business with th' rest of th' world, raised taxes when they ain't got th' right, took away our right to trial by jury, shipped our folks overseas to be tried in foreign' courts for made-up crimes, turned our next-door neighbor Canada into a dictatorship an' expanded its borders to surround us, abolished our governments, an' said they's gonna be our only government from now on- even though we got no voice at all with them.

Lessee, where was I? Oh, yeah, King George. As if all that other stuff wasn't bad enough, he's done declared war on us. He's burned our cities, sunk our ships, stole our stuff, raped and killed our women and children- well his soldiers, not HIM exactly, but he's responsible for it all so it might as well have been him.

He's hirin' foreign mercenaries to do his dirty work. He's takin' our sons an' brothers outta ships an' forcin' THEM to fight against us, and that just ain't right. He's even gettin' th' Indians and our own slaves to try to kill us, so that it ain't safe in our own homes.

Now, we tried to tell y'all this was goin' on, an' y'all didn't listen. I mean we have tried EVERYTHIN'. We told y'all about Parliament dickin' us over. We told y'all how we got here in th' first place. We asked y'all to mind th' law. We asked y'all to remember we was cousins. We asked y'all to do th' right thing, and you done ignored every last word we said.

Well, if y'all ain't gonna listen, then we're done talkin'. We are done with y'all, England. We're disownin' you. We gonna treat you jus' like any ordinary stranger on th' street, an' if you don't start none they won't be none.

An' all y'all who ain't England, listen up: from now on we're th' United States of America. We ain't part of England no more and ain't never gonna be again. We're a country, and we can do all th' stuff countries do. And if anybody got a problem with that, bring it on.



redneckgaijin: (Default)
Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEAD-IN TRACK
The Arrogant Worms - Christmas Is Almost Here

CHRI$TMA$
Max DeGroot - The Most Commercial Time of the Year
Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol
Mikey Mason - The Season
Stan Freberg - Green Chri$Tma$

THE TRUE SPIRIT
Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction - Gimme Gimme
Sean Morey - Dear Santa
The Ping Pongs - The Things I'd Like For Christmas
Arnie Aardvark - I Want A Blow Up Doll For Christmas
Stan Freberg - Nuttin' for Christmas
Pop Fly - Last Year I Got Coal for Christmas

ELVES ARE SCARY
moosebutter - I'm a Believer
Louis Armstrong - 'Zat You, Santa Claus?
Smashy Claw - Claustrophobia
The Arrogant Worms - Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass
Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy

THE OTHER HOLIDAY
Lewis Black - Chanukah
Klezmonauts - Oy to the World
Mike Toomey - How the Grinch Stole Chanukah


TRADITIONAL CAROLS
Klezmonauts - The Little Drummer Boy
Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers - Did You Heared What I Heared?
moosebutter - Mr. Grinch
Smashy Claw - Carol of the Meh

UNTRADITIONAL CAROLS
Mel Blanc - Yah Das Ist Ein Christmas Tree
Jesse Smith - Christmas with the Zombies
Spinal Tap - Christmas with the Devil
Mikey Mason - Strip Club Christmas
Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers - Daddy's on Parole This Christmas

REQUEST ROW
Devo Spice - The Geeks Come Out at Night
The Consortium of Genius - science fight
Ookla the Mok - Super Powers
Blind Ferret - Looking For Group-Slaughter Your World
Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con

BONUS OUTRO SONG
Weird Al Yankovic - Christmas at Ground Zero


redneckgaijin: (Default)
KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: COMICS and WEBCOMICS

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

FULL PLAYLIST WILL APPEAR ON THIS POST AT THE END OF THE SHOW.

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEAD-IN TRACK
Seduction of the Innocent - Reality Break

LONG UNDERWEAR CHARACTERS
Cartoon Network Groovies - That Time is Now (Superfriends Remix)
Aqua - Cartoon Heroes
Ookla the Mok - Super Powers
They Might Be Giants - Particle Man
HappyHarry87 - Saturday Morning Watchmen (ID: 218167)

DC IS WE
Wonder Woman (1970s TV theme)
Classical Superfriends (Marching Band cover)
Robert Lund - Life in the Bat Cave
Batman TV theme (1966)
The Spin Doctors - Jimmy Olsen's Blues
1998 World Science Fiction Co - Arthur Curry / Ookla the Mok

IF IT DOESN'T SUCK, WE MARVEL
The Nick Atoms - The Mighty Marvel Medley
The Great Luke Ski - Marvel Poppins
Insane Ian - Iron Man
The Ramones - Spider-Man Theme
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Ode To A Superhero
The Consortium of Genius - science fight

A WORD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPONSOR
Stan Freberg - Supercharger

LIL' FOLKS
the great Luke Ski - Snoopy The Dogg
Eric Schwartz - Charliesomething
Cirque du So What - You Need Prozac, Charlie Brown

LIKE COMICS... ONLY, ON THE WEB
Strong Bad Email #181  Web Comics
Tom Smith - Trans Poly U Fight Song (Girl Genius)
Blind Ferret - Looking For Group-Slaughter Your World
Adam WarRock - I Will Do Science To It
Jamie Koopa - The OCD Love Song (Questionable Content)
Tom Smith - Something Positive
SFU Choir - XKCD's Every Major's Terrible

REQUEST ROW
Nick Atoms; The Great Luke Ski - A Man Named Jayne
Devo Spice - The Geeks Come Out at Night
Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con
The Consortium of Genius - Science Party
Henry Phillips - Urban Myth

BONUS ENDING TRACK
Ookla the Mok - Stop Talking About comic Books
redneckgaijin: (Default)
KWLP is my little Internet radio show on DementiaRadio.org, 9 to 11 PM Wednesdays (Central time).

Tonight: TELEVISION

Tune your streaming-audio app to listen.dementiaradio.org:8027 to listen!

Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEAD-IN TRACK
Weird Al Yankovic - I Can't Watch This

THE IDIOT BOX
Dana Lyons - TV God
Allan Sherman - Al 'N Yetta
Bob Ricci - Connoisseur of Girl TV
Weird Al Yankovic - Cable TV

THE GREAT LUKE TV
The Great Luke Ski - 88 Lines About 44 Simpsons
The Great Luke Ski - Wannabe a Slayer
The Great Luke Ski - A Man Named Jayne

COME ON DOWN AND BUY A VOWEL
The Frantics - Game Show, Game Show
Jimmy Buffett - Door Number Three
Weird Al Yankovic - I Lost on Jeopardy
George Carlin - Divorce Game
Monty Python - Blackmail

SOAP WITH NO ROPE
Bill Frenzer - Soap Opera Love
Stan Freberg w/Cliffie Stone - John & Marsha
City Slickers; Spike Jones - None But the Lonely Heart (A Soaperetta)

AND THE REST
Bowling for Soup - Gilligan's Island Theme
Weird Al Yankovic - Isle Thing
Radio Free Vestibule - Something's Wrong With Gillig
Moneyshot Cosmonauts - Thank U Gilligan

DROP IT IN THE BUD
Guns N' Moses - We Love Barney Fife
Zot Theater - Mayberry Beret
Andy Griffith - Fishin' Hole (Andy Griffith Theme)

EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION, ALSO EXPLOSIONS
Devo Spice - Busted
Cirque du So What - MythBusters: The Cat Came Back
Henry Phillips - Urban Myth

REQUEST ROW
George Carlin - High on the Plane
The Consortium of Genius - Science Party
Weird Al Yankovic - Virus Alert
Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con
Devo Spice - The Geeks Come Out at Night


redneckgaijin: (Default)
  Here's the playlist for that show for June 7, 2017. Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

Next week's show will be prerecorded, just so you know.

Strikethrough options got the gong and got deleted from my hard drive.

LEAD-IN TRACK

Ookla the Mok (feat. Shoebox, the great Luke Ski, and Devo Spice) - Welcome to the Con

MAKING IT PAY
Raymond & Scum - Merchandise Table 128
Lemon Demon - Gonna Dig Up Alec Guinness
the great Luke Ski - Quark's New Merchandising Enterprise (Live at CONvergence 2007)

FLY? WHY?
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Devo Spice feat. Insane Ian - Flight Check
George Carlin - High on the Plane

NOT SO MUCH NO-TELL MOTEL AS HOSPITALITY ANONYMOUS
Ray Stevens - The Motel Song
Cirque du So What - A F*ing Room
Homer & Jethro - Hernando's Hideaway

AT THE CONVENTION
Sherclop Pones - The Convention (At the Gala parody)
COMIC CON the Musical! (featuring Whitney Avalon - Princess Rap Battles)
Possible Oscar - At The Con
Skittle Sama - Third Anime Convention

COSPLAYERS AND OTHER CRITTERS
Power Salad - Larry McBrim
Power Salad - Gas Station Disc Jockey
Power Salad - The Perfect Parodist

SPIKE JONES
Grant Uchida - The Cosplay Song  Conventions 
Insane Ian Featuring the Great Luke Ski - Cosplaying Fangirls
Le Jizm - Mr. Female Character Cosplayer
Not Literally - I Ship It

JARETH WILL BANISH HOGGLE TO A CONVENTION
Barry & The Bookbinders - Fart In An Elevator
Rob Balder - Gamer Funk
Le Jizm - Mr. Unwashed Convention Attendee (ver. 2)

GEEKS AFTER DARK
The Consortium of Genius - Science Party
Devo Spice - The Geeks Come Out at Night
Possible Oscar - The Room Party Song

REQUEST ROW
Power Salad - Larry McBrim
Power Salad - The Perfect Parodist
Power Salad - Gas Station Disc Jockey
Weird Al Yankovic - Virus Alert
Weird Al Yankovic - Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

redneckgaijin: (Default)
Here's the playlist for that show for May 31, 2017. Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

Next week's show will be prerecorded, just so you know.

Strikethrough options got the gong and got deleted from my hard drive.

MISCELLANEOUS FUMP SONGS
Bonecage - A Horse Named George
Devo Spice - On New Year's Eve
Halfshell Hero - Hungry, Said the Wolf
Lauren Meyer - Dear Internet Trolls
Joe J Thomas - The Hell of Diets

GRINDING COGS
Consortium of Genius - Welcome to the Lab
New Orleans SteamCOG Orchestra - Sheik of Arabi
New Orleans SteamCOG Orchestra - Airships
New Orleans SteamCOG Orchestra - Everyone Dies (But Me)
Consortium of Genius - Get Out of the Lab

THE METERS
The Meters - They All Ask'd for You
The Meters - Cissy Strut
The Meters - Live Wire (not gonged, but not completed either)

DADA OR DOO-DAH
The Bonzo Dog Band - The Bride Stripped Bare (By the Bachelors)
The Bonzo Dog Band - What Do You Do?
The Bonzo Dog Band - I Want to Be with You

FUMP 2: POWER SALAD
Power Salad - Larry McBrim
Power Salad - Gas Station Disc Jockey
Power Salad - The Perfect Parodist

SPIKE JONES
City Slickers; Spike Jones - Hotcha Cornia (Hotcha Chornya Russian Folk Songs)
City Slickers; Spike Jones - I Wanna Go Back to West Virginia
City Slickers; Spike Jones - Water Lou (Drip, Drip, Drip)

OH GOD, YET MORE STARBOMB
Starbomb - The Book of Nook [Explicit]
Starbomb - Sonic's Best Pal [Explicit]
Starbomb - Regretroid [Explicit]

IT'S COLOSSAL, IT'S STUPENDOUS, IT'S SHORT, IT WINS!
Parry Gripp - I Like Vegetables
Parry Gripp - Young Girl Talking About Herself
Parry Gripp - Dramatic Chipmunk Hey!

EARLY PATTON OSWALT
Patton Oswalt - A Blowjob Behind the Tilt-A-Whirl
Patton Oswalt - Come On Apocalypse
Patton Oswalt - Your Moment of Irony

ANOTHER BIG FAT PILE O' FUMP
the great Luke Ski - Candybars
The Library Bards - Regeneration

REQUEST ROW
Rob Balder - A Stable Collection
Power Salad - The No No Facebook App App Song Song
Steve Goodie - Twwetin' On A Jet Plane
Weird Al Yankovic - Virus Alert
Weird Al Yankovic - Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

SURPRISED BONUS TRACK
Mikey Mason - The Sunday After the Saturday Immediately Following the Acutal Calendar Date of St. Patrick's Day


redneckgaijin: (Default)
Here's the playlist for that show for May 24, 2017. Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

Next week's show will be prerecorded, just so you know.

LEADIN TRACK
Rhett and Link - Internet Overdose

CHOOSE YOUR DEVICE
homestarrunner.com - Compy Catalog
Weird Al Yankovic - It's All About the Pentiums
Devo Spice - Platform Wars

A LITTLE TOO INTIMATE INTERNET
Avenue Q Original Cast - The Internet Is for Porn
Consortium of Genius - Android Woman
Rhett and Link - Robot Girlfriend

APPBIQUITOUS
Devo Spice - Why Are You Friending me on Facebook?
Power Salad - The No No Facebook App App Song Song
Steve Goodie - Twwetin' On A Jet Plane
Bonecage - Amazon.com
Dino-Mike - (She's On) Pinterest
Holy Bongwater - How Far I'll Troll

PRESSED LUNCHEON MEATMAIL
Tom Smith - Spam Spam Spam
Shonen Knife - S*P*A*M
Sudden Death - Spam
Weird Al Yankovic - Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me

A WORD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPONSOR
Grobust Commercial


DER KOMPUTER IST BLOKE
Rob Balder - A Stable Collection
Tom Smith - Can't Get the File to Play
Strong Bad - System is Down
Sudden Death - Reign of Error
Les Barker - Reinstalling Windows
Weird Al Yankovic - Virus Alert

THE PI-TH CIRCLE OF HELL
Tony Goldmark - Tech Support
Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - Welcome to the Internet Help D
Tom Smith - Tech Support For Dad

REQUEST ROW
Kobi LaCroix - Orange Glo
Bowling for Soup - A Really Cool Dance Song
Alan Jackson - The Talkin' Song Repair Blues
The Arrogant Worms - Big Fat Road Manager
Paul & Storm - Opening Band

redneckgaijin: (Default)
Here's the playlist for that show for May 17, 2017. Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

Next week's show will be prerecorded, just so you know.

LEADIN TRACK
Lower, Daniel And The Bloodbrothers - Singin' in My Car

THE GLORY OF BEING A MUSICIAN
City Slickers; Spike Jones - MacNamara's Band
The Arrogant Worms - Boy Band
Patton Oswalt - 80s Metal
Possible Oscar - You Pay, We Play

MUSIC WORLD PROBLEMS
The Arrogant Worms - Big Fat Road Manager
Monty Python - Rock Notes
They Might Be Giants - How Can I Sing Like a Girl?
Devo Spice - How To Sing
The Bobs - Never Date a Musician

LEARN HOW TO PLAY
Mel Blanc - Professor LeBlanc Gives Jack Benny A Violin Lesson [*]
Cheech & Chong - The Music Lessons
Flat 29 - Teach Your Baby Bass Guitar
Chet Atkins;Mark Knopfler - Yakety Axe
Henry Phillips - Guitar Pill [Live]

A WORD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPONSOR
Stan Freberg - Jazz on Rubberbands

SONGWRITING 101

Seamonkey (Featuring Filkmaster Tom Smith, Houzeman and Glenn Lixx) - Parody Like a Filk Star
Tom Smith - Songwriting Workshop
Alan Jackson - The Talkin' Song Repair Blues

LIVING THE DREAM NIGHTMARE
Paul & Storm - Opening Band
Raymond And Scum - Nobody Loves The Comedy Band
Cirque du So What - God Hates Comedy Musicians

ROCKIN' THE TWITCHBOXSTATION
The Great Luke Ski - Sheldon's Delight
MC Lars - Guitar Hero Hero (Beating Guitar Hero Doesn't Make You Slash)
Devo Spice - The Dumbest Song On Rock Band

REQUEST ROW
Monty Python - String
Bowling for Soup - A Really Cool Dance Song
Kobi LaCroix - Orange Glo
Kobi LaCroix - Brutomax! 3: Revenge of the Canned
Jump 'N the Saddle Band - The Curly Shuffle

redneckgaijin: (Default)
So, some of you might know I do a streaming radio show on DementiaRadio.org every Wednesday night from 9 to 11 PM Central, usually live.

Here's the playlist for that show for May 10, 2017. Comment to vote for as many songs as you'd like to hear replayed next week; the top five total votes here, on IRC chat during the show, and on the Dementia Radio Facebook group will be replayed next week as REQUEST ROW. The top vote-getters for the whole year get played the last two shows of the year in our top-100 countdown.

LEADIN TRACK
Kobi LaCroix - Brutomax!

STAN FREBERG, ADVERTISING SUPER GENIUS
Stan Freberg - Truth in Advertising
Stan Freberg - Moby Dick
Stan Freberg - The 1966 Chun King
Stan Freberg with Billy May's Orchesrta; Chorale, Jud Conlon - Omaha!

HOW STAN FREBERG GOT STARTED MAKING ADS
Daws Butler; June Foray; Peter Leeds; Stan Freberg - Freberg Sponsors Freberg (Stan Freberg Show Ep. 14 Pt 1)
Daws Butler; June Foray; Peter Leeds; Stan Freberg - Freberg in Advertisingland

Kobi LaCroix - Brutomax! The Sequel!

MOCKING HARD-SELL ADS
George Carlin - Second Announcements (from A Place For My Stuff!)
Monty Python - String
Allan Sherman - Chim Chim Cheree

PECULIAR PRODUCTS
Weird Al Yankovic - Spatula City
Marc Gunn - The Naughty Wench
Redd Foxx - The New Fugg
Consortium of Genius - Pinkerton's Hair Club for Scientists
Dos Fallopia - Cross Dress for Less

JUST PLAIN STRANGE AD COMEDY
P. D. Q. Bach - Commercial: "If You Have Never" (Divers Ayres on Sundrie Notions)
Doo-doo Wah - B.A.R.F. Construction
The Credibility Gap - Public Service Announcement
Da Yoopers - Talk Time
Weird Al Yankovic - Craigslist

A WORD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPONSOR
Monty Python - The Book Ad
Le Jizm - Mr. Shoujo Anime and Manga Fan
Daws Butler; June Foray; Peter Leeds; Stan Freberg - Instant Freberg (Stan Freberg Show Ep. 14)

THE VESTIBULES FAKE ADS
 Radio Free Vestibule - Laurence Olivier For Diet Coke
Radio Free Vestibule - Performance Artist Barbie
Radio Free Vestibule - Didrahoffaphynoxil

PAUL & STORM TWISTED JINGLES
Paul & Storm - Olive Garden
Paul & Storm - Domino's Pizza
Paul & Storm - Pillsbury Cookie Dough
Kobi LaCroix - Brutomax! 3: Revenge of the Canned

WAFFLE HOUSE MUSIC
Rogers, Mary Welch - Waffle House Family Pt.1
Danny Jones - There Are Raisins in My Toast
Jerry Buckner - I'm Going Back to the Waffle House
Daws Butler; June Foray; Peter Leeds; Stan Freberg - Making New Freberg Fans (Stan Freberg Show Ep. 14)

DEAD INFOMERCIAL MEN
Kobi LaCroix - Orange Glo
Rhett and Link - Shamwow Song
Weird Al Yankovic - Mr. Popeil
Kobi LaCroix - Brutomax! 4: Why Are We Still Doing This?

REQUEST ROW
Bowling for Soup - A Really Cool Dance Song
Tom Smith - 500 Hats
Tom Smith - I'm On Firefly
Rob Balder - Muppet Laboratories
Jump 'N the Saddle Band - The Curly Shuffle
redneckgaijin: (respectable political)
We are all in this together. Unfortunately, the other side thinks otherwise- and that all who disagree with them are part of an evil foreign conspiracy.

And that belief stems from purely bigoted traditions centuries old in the United States.

http://lyansroar.blogspot.com/2017/01/its-always-important-to-remember-that.html
redneckgaijin: (respectable political)
So, I play golf when the weather permits (i. e. stays below 85 degrees and it isn't actively raining or snowing).

Yes, because I don't have enough helpless anger and frustration in my life. I go out seeking MORE, and I pay for the privilege.

Anyway, last week I had the round of my life. Twenty-one over par. 91 strokes on a par 70 course. For a pro that would be terrible, but it was the first time I've ever broken 100, and it beat my prior best score by ten strokes.

This week I went out to the same course and... had the round I usually have instead.

The worst hole was the fifth hole. The fifth hole at Livingston Municipal Golf Course is a par 3, 170 yards, which means a skilled golfer is expected to hit the ball between 160 and 180 yards accurately enough to leave the ball on the putting green, and then take two putts to get the ball in the actual hole. Last week I shot a 5 the first time, a 3 the second time. (Livingston has only 9 holes, so a full game requires you go round the course twice.)

So what happened on Monday?

Tee up the ball. Swing, catch the ball on the toe of the club, see it wobble right like a wounded duck out of bounds.

I take a mulligan. Mulligans, or 'breakfast balls', are not to be found in the PGA rulebook, but they're common among ordinary, non-betting golfers. They're basically a do-over, usually limited to the tee shot, tolerated because the other golfers feel sorry for someone whose first shot went left or right farther than it went forward. And I take between two and seven a round, depending.

So, mulligan. I come down on top of the ball this time, knocking it into the turf of the tee box hard enough to leave a furrow. Having expended most of its energy into the dirt, the ball bounces feebly twenty yards forward into the creek.

No more mulligans. Ball in water off the tee is a stroke penalty and tee off again. According to the rules, my second stroke puts the ball back on the tee. My third stroke does exactly the same thing as the first stroke did.

Now, for those of you who are keeping track, I have now lost three balls, used up four strokes (six if I wasn't using a mulligan), and I'm not off the tee box yet.

My fifth stroke gets in the air and across the creek... and soars like a bullet to the left, about 160 yards. Luckily for me, the course recently dug up another water hazard and left piles of dirt alongside it. My ball is caught by one such pile, which counts as ground under repair. I can take a free drop out of this, which I do.

Pity it doesn't help. My sixth stroke barely touches the ball, which goes about four feet. My seventh stroke actually gets me onto the green.

Putting time. My first putt runs twelve feet past the hole. My second putt falls six inches short. My third putt goes in.

Ten strokes. On a hole where a skilled golfer should only need three, and which I usually manage in five.

The second time around I managed a four- a bogey- but by then it really was too late to mend things.

And this is what I set aside a day a week, when I have it, to do.

And somehow, despite this, my blood pressure comes in at 105 over 65 or thereabouts whenever I check it.
redneckgaijin: (respectable political)
Since everybody else is saying what Clinton and Trump need to do to win the election, here's my thoughts.

WHAT CLINTON NEEDS TO DO FOR HERSELF:

Granted that the media has basically allowed, even aided and abetted, the Trump campaign to define Hillary Clinton to the public, she hasn't done herself any favors. Her campaign speeches are laundry lists of mostly small-ball detailed proposals with no common theme. Clinton needs to define that common theme, and it needs to be something beyond, "Vote for me to continue Obama's legacy" and "Vote for me because I'm not Trump." Without that theme, you don't really get the enthusaism needed for big turnout on election day... and it's been reported all over the place that Democratic voter enthusiasm is way, way down.

Trump has pulled close to Clinton both by dragging her down to his level and by offering his supporters a simple, easy-to-understand (and of course deceiving) message: "The Democrats weakened our country. We need a strong leader now to fix it, and that's going to be me." Clinton has nothing like that, and the debates are really her last chance to make that happen.

WHAT CLINTON NEEDS TO DO TO TRUMP:

Trump's biggest enemy is Trump himself. Clinton needs to lead him into making gaffes and factual errors, and that means pushing him off-balance and off-script. By all reports the best way to do this is to attack Trump's self-image. This can NOT be done head-on; Trump can shrug that off. It needs to be done in passing, a bit at a time, and carefully targeted- references to how he inherited wealth and nearly squandered it all on failed business deals, how most of his projects failed miserably, how his tax returns would show his lack of wealth, etc. This will get him angry and prone to counterattacks- and those counterattacks, though his base will love them, will destroy him with everyone else.

WHAT CLINTON NEEDS TO AVOID:

(1) Don't make the debate a referendum on Trump. If all Clinton does is give the case for why Trump is disqualified, then TRUMP WINS IN NOVEMBER. It's never sufficient for any candidate to simply say, "I'm not the other guy." Clinton needs to slip a few bits in about Trump, but her focus needs to be on why voters should choose her over any other option, even if Trump weren't in the race at all.

(2) Don't go full wonk. Clinton loves to try to teach people in her political messaging- even more so than Barack Obama. And it's boring. If Clinton details her specific proposals, the listeners will tune it out and absorb none of it. Clinton needs to stick to broad principles and intentions and address specifics only when unavoidable. KISS principle needs to be the guide.

(3) Don't try to go toe to toe with Trump in a shouting match. Responding is fine, if kept very brief and witty, but when Trump gets angry and attacks Clinton needs to stay calm and quiet. It's unfair but true that there is a lot of sexism involved in the electorate, and if they see an angry man and an angry woman going hammer-and-tongs at one another, a majority of Americans will by default side with the man. An angry man and a quiet but firm woman, on the other hand, goes the other direction.

Now for the part I hope nobody reads to The Donald:

WHAT TRUMP NEEDS TO DO FOR HIMSELF:

The Sarah Palin strategy. Palin managed a draw with Joe Biden in their 2008 debate by memorizing about a dozen talking points and steering every question to one of those. As a result, only people who were listening very carefully (I was driving and heard the whole debate on the radio) could tell how rehearsed and repetitive her answers were as opposed to Biden's. Trump needs to do the same thing: have a script of talking points and stick to it absolutely, positively, no matter what. If Trump improvises, he will be (justly) eaten alive for his misstatements of fact and his inevitable bigoted gaffes.

WHAT TRUMP NEEDS TO DO TO CLINTON:

The aforementioned script needs to have several very specific attack points on Hillary's honesty and integrity. Merely saying "Lyin' Hillary" might work on the stump to the base, but it won't fly in a debate. Trump needs to bring up specific cases with evidence for his accusations. And he needs to do this again, again, and again, dragging her down into the muck with her while appearing to be a prosecutor instead of a reckless mudslinger.

WHAT TRUMP NEEDS TO AVOID:

(1) Don't ad-lib. By all reports Trump has refused to do any prep work for the debates, insisting that he can do it ex tempore. Bad move. If Trump improvises, he gaffes.

(2) Don't miss the chance to denounce racism and bigotry. If Trump could go two weeks straight without himself or one of his surrogates making a white-supremacist remark or re-Tweet, he'd probably have this race sewn up by now. As it is, a substantial portion of normally Republican voters is currently supporting Clinton for the very reason that Trump is blatantly white supremacist. If he loses, this above all else will be what cost him the election (which is already looking like an exercise in whether a president can be elected anymore without a single non-white vote). If the opportunity comes to demonstrate that he hasn't got a white robe and hood in his closet, Trump must sieze it decisively and forcefully. If he hedges, or worse (as he has done elsewhere) he defends whatever white supremacism is at question, he fails.

(3) Don't lose your temper. Trump's charisma is based on the smiling, confident, loud Trump. The angry cry-baby Trump we see now and again will lose the election. Whatever provocation Clinton manages, Trump has to shrug it off as a lie from a desperate woman, beneath his notice. He must NOT try to shout her into submission. If Trump tries to bully Clinton as he did the other GOP candidates once upon a time, Clinton will walk away looking like a saint, leaving Trump exposed as the Satan he actually is.

WHAT GARY JOHNSON NEEDS TO DO:

Hope both candidates make serious blunders and discredit themselves, then hit every morning pundit show the next day hard and fast. Fifteen percent, Binky; it's your only hope, and you've admitted as much.

WHAT JILL STEIN NEEDS TO DO:

Quit running for public office and let someone with more credibility than a Scientology outreach flyer be the face of America's far left.

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