redneckgaijin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redneckgaijin) wrote2009-03-06 05:03 pm
redneckgaijin) wrote2009-03-06 05:03 pm
Cooking don'ts...
My grandmother decided to make cookies today.
She found her unopened box of brown sugar had turned into a brick, forcing her to use a butcher knife to break it up. That wore her out, but she pressed on anyway...
... only to have the oatmeal cookies turn into what amounted to oatmeal paper. The batter didn't congeal- when it got hot, it spread across all available surfaces.
"I didn't put in enough flour," she said.
I checked the recipe, and I noticed one item I knew for a fact we didn't have in the house: shortening.
Not a bit.
"Did you use shortening?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah, of course I did."
"Okaaay... just wanted to make sure you didn't use oil."
"That's what I used, the oil, 'cause I didn't have any Crisco."
".......... oil and shortening aren't the same thing."
"They aren't?"
"No. Oil doesn't congeal."
"I guess that's what did it, then."
(Gee, d'ya THINK?)
She says she's never making cookies again, but I've heard that song before...
She found her unopened box of brown sugar had turned into a brick, forcing her to use a butcher knife to break it up. That wore her out, but she pressed on anyway...
... only to have the oatmeal cookies turn into what amounted to oatmeal paper. The batter didn't congeal- when it got hot, it spread across all available surfaces.
"I didn't put in enough flour," she said.
I checked the recipe, and I noticed one item I knew for a fact we didn't have in the house: shortening.
Not a bit.
"Did you use shortening?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah, of course I did."
"Okaaay... just wanted to make sure you didn't use oil."
"That's what I used, the oil, 'cause I didn't have any Crisco."
".......... oil and shortening aren't the same thing."
"They aren't?"
"No. Oil doesn't congeal."
"I guess that's what did it, then."
(Gee, d'ya THINK?)
She says she's never making cookies again, but I've heard that song before...
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