Unthanksgiving

[redneckgaijin]

Strangely, there's no official holiday to kvetch about the things we would like to see out of our lives, the things that annoy us, all the crap we could really do without.

So today I'm going to avoid the schmaltz by listing the things I am UNthankful for.

* * *

I am UNthankful for our president, who surrenders to the Republicans on any issue that he doesn't already agree with them on (torture, war, executive privilege).

I am UNthankful for the aforementioned Republicans, who have taken greed and wealth-privilege to the point of insanity.

I am UNthankful for most of cable television, which gets more expensive every year whilst and at the same time becoming more unwatchable.

I am UNthankful for the dog conventions I had this year- Kawakon, NOLA Comic Con, Con du Lac, RealmsCon and YuleCon- which contributed (especially the last two) to making the coming winter very wobbly on a financial basis.

Speaking of dogs, I am UNthankful for the dogs my neighbors let run loose, especially one neighbor and longtime family friend who is utterly incapable of keeping said dogs at home.

I am UNthankful for McDonald's, Popeye's, Wendy's, and Jack in the Box, each of which has provided me at least one regrettable meal in the past calendar year.

I am not quite UNthankful for a certain so-called Chinese restaurant a couple miles east of downtown Dallas, which taught me never to eat Chinese in an overwhelmingly Hispanic neighborhood, where the fried rice is indistinguishable from refried beans and the beef pepper steak has quartered tomatoes in it.

I am UNthankful for the spammers, malware writers, and other internet assholes who make online commerce and entertainment OH SO MUCH FUN.

I am THANKFUL for the TSA giving me a bumper sticker idea (if Russ will move on it)- "I keep my junk in my trunk WHERE THE TSA CAN'T GROPE IT!"- but UNthankful for the TSA, for the Department of Paranoia Homeland Security, and the general notion that freedom can only be protected by destroying it.

I am UNthankful for David McCullough, Archer Jones, Thomas Woods Jr., and pretty much any and all authors published by Regenery Press.

I am UNthankful for Liberty University and Oral Roberts University, which give ignorance, superstition, and political dogma the appearance of education.

I am UNthankful for the Citizens United decision, but with mixed feelings on the core issue. News outlets, for example, are all corporations; should they be prohibited from reporting on politics?

I am UNthankful for a Congress too lazy to make more than a tiny token gesture towards adressing said core issue.

I am ESPECIALLY UNTHANKFUL for Fox News and, sadly, MSNBC for increasingly making it impossible to distinguish news reporting from political advocacy. (And CNN is not much better.)

I am UNthankful for those of my fellow convention vendors who block entire aisles during setup and teardown; who hog loading docks and elevators; who delay opening of the dealer's room for hours; who carry bootleg merchandise; who blast music in their booths loud enough that I can't hear my customers, even though they don't actually SELL any; and who are, in general, assholes above and beyond the call of duty. Thankfully such people are in the minority on the circuit.

I am UNthankful to venues who charge triple-digit fees to install a single three-prong outlet and a power bar.

I am even more UNthankful for Black and Decker, whose $100 portable AC power supply last all of about four hours running ONLY a laptop.

I am THANKFUL for all my customers, but UNthankful for the impulse they get to explain to me the jokes on the shirts I came up with myself, or the gags in my comics ditto. I GET the joke. I MADE the joke. Enjoy it and move on to the part that involves cash changing hands, please.

I am UNthankful for the modern school of automotive design that has turned half of the cars in America into beans on wheels that, on the inside, make a dandy solar-powered oven... but VERY thankful that vinyl is no longer considered an acceptable car seat covering.

I am UNthankful for people who hate big boobs or people with the big-boob fetish. Kindly go to hell.

I am VERY UNthankful for the 80%+ of Japanese erotica in general which boils down to, "What X male would do to XYZ females if he could get away with it." Yuck.

But I am EXTREMELY UNthankful for the any-percentage-is-too-much of Japanese erotica involving pre-pubescent females- ESPECIALLY that for which there is no warning on the cover. GYAAAH! YUCK! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME ARRESTED? Slap a big-ass sticker saying PEDOPHILES ONLY on that shit so I know to AVOID it!!

But last and certainly not least, I am UNthankful for the adult industry people, the publishers, the video store owners, the porn actors and actresses, the this and that whose livelihood depends on full sexual freedom... who vote for, and donate to, Republicans. Hope that works well for you, guys. And hope you don't drag me along to jail with you when we're all outlawed.

Time to wrap it up- the first relatives just arrived. Happy Thanksgiving Day, y'all.

Comments

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

I'm especially ungrateful to NPR for repeatedly describing wossname's trial in New York which ended up with him getting 20 years to life for 1 charge out of over 200 as a defeat for the Obama administration, presumably because the guy wasn't convicted on enough charges.

Looked up the link:

http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-11-17/ghailani-guilty-of-conspiracy-cleared-of-224-murders.html

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

The defeat for the Obama administration was twofold:

(1) They wanted to show that evidence acquired through torture was admissible in court, and they failed; and

(2) They wanted to show that prisoners tortured at Guantanamo or elsewhere could still be found guilty ("justice" never entered into it), and mostly failed.

Bear in mind, the Obama administration filed all 200 of those charges- this wasn't a carryover from Bush. By shooting for the moon as they did, they undermined their case to the Muslim-fearing public- and gave the Republicans ammo to shut down all hope of fair trials for any other terrorist suspects, Guantanamo or not...

... on the road to the ultimate Republican goal of doing away with just trials altogether.

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

>>Strangely, there's no official holiday to kvetch about the things we would like to see out of our lives, the things that annoy us, all the crap we could really do without.<<

So does that mean Festivus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus) and its Airing of Grievances doesn't count as such an "official" holiday? :-)

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

Not only does no government (that I know of) recognize Festivus as a legal holiday, but the Airing of Grievances, I understood, has to be done to the face of those being complained about. It's an internal family thing (used as an excuse to belittle one's family in the source material).