Stupor Bowl 2006: Countdown Report #1
Oct. 10th, 2005 07:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
redneckgaijinAmazing, isn't it- we're closing in on the halfway point of the 2005 college football season already. Seems like just yesterday the first chill of autumn was creeping in...
... oh wait, it WAS just yesterday.
Anyway, with no less than four games under the belts of each college team, it's time to begin watching and evaluating my picks for the 2006 Stupor Bowl- the imaginary bowl game for the two absolute WORST football teams in NCAA Division I-A.
Here's the first group of teams to watch- the five teams remaining with perfect winless records.
Army (0-6)
(NCAA Independent)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 12.2 / 30.6
Next Opponent: TCU (5-1)
Yes, the team which inspired the Stupor Bowl is back in the running again. The Black Knights were a little competitive against Iowa State earlier this year, and have a small chance to find the win column later this year- against Navy if no one else. They might surprise me... but not this weekend. TCU is going to roll over them like a tsu... hurr... landsl... eart... like Rosie O'Donnell on her way to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Rice (0-4)
(Conference USA)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 21.3 / 50
Next Opponent: Tulsa (3-3)
Okay, let's give Rice a little break- one of their games was against Texas. They're in a weak conference, they do score quite a bit on average, they have a halfway decent chance to get a win or two this year. On the other hand... Dude. It's still a Houston-based football team. It's going to suck. This weekend's game against Tulsa might be entertaining, but I wouldn't put any money on Rice to win. To beat the spread, maybe, but not to win.
New Mexico State (0-6)
(Western Athletic Conference)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 12 / 37.2
Next Opponent: Hawaii (1-4)
This weekend's game against Hawaii is the one to watch. If the Aggies of NMSU don't win against 1-4 Hawaii, it's quite likely they'll run the rest of the season winless. New Mexico State hasn't been competitive with much of anyone, and I don't think even a weak conference can save them.
And now for the two current "frontrunners" for the "honor" of the Stupor Bowl...
Buffalo (0-5)
(Mid-American Conference)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 6.2 / 26
Next Opponent: Bowling Green (3-2)
About the only good thing that can be said about this team is that they get to play Kent State (currently 1-4) in their next-to-last game of the season. Unfortunately, they'll have to play that game AT Kent State. Of course, when you average less than one touchdown per game, you can hardly consider anything a "home field advantage." By the numbers, the defense isn't all that bad, but the offense is nearly nonexistent. You can't win games if you don't score points... and against Bowling Green, don't expect the Bulls to score many points at all.
Temple (0-6)
(NCAA Independent)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 10.5 / 49.5
Next Opponent: Miami (FL) (4-1)
Now here's the true wonder kids of college football. You have to wonder why they're playing at all. No close games. Lost to Arizona State 63-16; to Wisconsin, 65-0; and to Bowling Green, 70-7. Furthermore, the weakest team remaining on their schedule is the University of Virginia. Clemson? Ohio U? Not exactly powerhouses, but more than enough to trample these kids into the ground. It would take an absolute miracle for Temple to win ANY of its remaining games. Of course, this is one of the hazards of being an independent; all the big schools looking for easy wins come to you to schedule a reliable blowout.
Which is one reason why I'd like to abolish the entire school conference system in favor of a completely open playoff system... but that's something to discuss another time.
... oh wait, it WAS just yesterday.
Anyway, with no less than four games under the belts of each college team, it's time to begin watching and evaluating my picks for the 2006 Stupor Bowl- the imaginary bowl game for the two absolute WORST football teams in NCAA Division I-A.
Here's the first group of teams to watch- the five teams remaining with perfect winless records.
Army (0-6)
(NCAA Independent)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 12.2 / 30.6
Next Opponent: TCU (5-1)
Yes, the team which inspired the Stupor Bowl is back in the running again. The Black Knights were a little competitive against Iowa State earlier this year, and have a small chance to find the win column later this year- against Navy if no one else. They might surprise me... but not this weekend. TCU is going to roll over them like a tsu... hurr... landsl... eart... like Rosie O'Donnell on her way to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Rice (0-4)
(Conference USA)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 21.3 / 50
Next Opponent: Tulsa (3-3)
Okay, let's give Rice a little break- one of their games was against Texas. They're in a weak conference, they do score quite a bit on average, they have a halfway decent chance to get a win or two this year. On the other hand... Dude. It's still a Houston-based football team. It's going to suck. This weekend's game against Tulsa might be entertaining, but I wouldn't put any money on Rice to win. To beat the spread, maybe, but not to win.
New Mexico State (0-6)
(Western Athletic Conference)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 12 / 37.2
Next Opponent: Hawaii (1-4)
This weekend's game against Hawaii is the one to watch. If the Aggies of NMSU don't win against 1-4 Hawaii, it's quite likely they'll run the rest of the season winless. New Mexico State hasn't been competitive with much of anyone, and I don't think even a weak conference can save them.
And now for the two current "frontrunners" for the "honor" of the Stupor Bowl...
Buffalo (0-5)
(Mid-American Conference)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 6.2 / 26
Next Opponent: Bowling Green (3-2)
About the only good thing that can be said about this team is that they get to play Kent State (currently 1-4) in their next-to-last game of the season. Unfortunately, they'll have to play that game AT Kent State. Of course, when you average less than one touchdown per game, you can hardly consider anything a "home field advantage." By the numbers, the defense isn't all that bad, but the offense is nearly nonexistent. You can't win games if you don't score points... and against Bowling Green, don't expect the Bulls to score many points at all.
Temple (0-6)
(NCAA Independent)
Points Per Game / Points Allowed: 10.5 / 49.5
Next Opponent: Miami (FL) (4-1)
Now here's the true wonder kids of college football. You have to wonder why they're playing at all. No close games. Lost to Arizona State 63-16; to Wisconsin, 65-0; and to Bowling Green, 70-7. Furthermore, the weakest team remaining on their schedule is the University of Virginia. Clemson? Ohio U? Not exactly powerhouses, but more than enough to trample these kids into the ground. It would take an absolute miracle for Temple to win ANY of its remaining games. Of course, this is one of the hazards of being an independent; all the big schools looking for easy wins come to you to schedule a reliable blowout.
Which is one reason why I'd like to abolish the entire school conference system in favor of a completely open playoff system... but that's something to discuss another time.
