Instafilk: "Hurricane Tango"

[redneckgaijin]

Yesterday starcat_jewel made a reference to the "Hurricane Fandango," adding, "To the obvious tune."

The obvious tune, for those who don't know, is Tom Lehrer's Masochism Tango. A commenter demanded she, or somebody, complete the filk. I went back to "Hurricane Tango" for mine, because although "Masochism Tango" and "Hurricane Fandango" have the same number of syllables, I didn't like how "Hurricane Fandango" scanned into the original song. Besides, tangos and fandangoes are seriously different rhythms anyway- I didn't want to dick with the music behind the lyrics.

So, queue up in your mind the score from the orchestrated recording of Lehrer's song, and bear in mind this was written in about fifteen minutes of sit-down time:


There's a cloud blowing up in the Gulf, dear
The weatherman says it's as we all feared
Let's join the host fleeing lowland and coast
As we dance to the Hurricane Tango

It's the same tale every September
We sit down and try to remember
Did we buy bottled water back when we oughta
As we dance to the Hurricane Tango

We quail
And rush for board and nail
To prevent the coming gale
From busting through the glass
Hit the road
Whether or not we're told
Get five miles from home
Before running out of gas

And when it gets too much to handle
We stay glued to the damn Weather Channel
'Cause we can't unwind till they make up their mind
Who's dancing to the Hurricane Tango

We stay
And wait for Landfall Day
And we can't help but pray
Every time something goes "clunk"
(Was that a tree on the house?)
Better still
Your neighbors on the hill
Decide to hold a party and get drunk
(Hic! 'Scuse me!)

Then the storm turns away towards Mobile*
And frustration and annoyance you feel
You cuss 'cause you know the next time it blows...
You'll STILL dance... to the Hurricane Tango!


* If you live from New Orleans to Pensacola, substitute "Brownsville" for "Mobile".

--- Hurricane Tango, lyrics by Kris Overstreet