Filk: Milkmaid Rhapsody

[redneckgaijin]

(If you aren't familiar with WLP's comics... why are you here again?)


Are these the real boobs
Are they just fantasy
A glint in a man's eye
An escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up from my breasts and see
I'm just a cartoon- I have no gravity
'Cause I'm ink and paint, lines and light
Without substance, only sight
Real life doesn't apply to me, to me

Baby, I got big tits
Each one bigger than my head, grew because they were milk-fed
Baby, know you like big jugs
But now my boobs have grown beyond belief

Baby, oo-oo
Didn't mean to make you drool
Why don't you come back again this time tomorrow
Booby art, booby art, where real life doesn't apply

Too late, the goons have come
Critics yapping all the time, giant boobs are not a crime
Yes, everybody, my tits can grow
But don't be mad because I'm drawn that way

Baby, oo-oo
You know I'm not really alive
Why do they think that I am real at all

I see a giant set of cleavage on my screen
Gazongas, gazongas, do they wiggle and jiggle
Comics from White Lightning, very very frightning me

Do they lactate?
Do they lactate?
Do they lactate?
Do they lactate?
Yes they do!
(Whoop-de-do!)

Ink and paint, lines and light
You realize that, right?

Bismillah, no! You've gotta be insane!
(Let it go!)
Bismillah! Your back must be in pain!
(Let it go!)
Bismillah! We'll show you what we know!
No, no, no, no, nononono NO!

Mamma Mie, Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia there they grow
Beelzebub has a critic set aside for me, for me, for me

So you don't like me because of my boobies?
Can't you see that I'm fiction and not reality?
Oh, baby, don't ask stupid questions
Why don't you go on, go and read something ELSE!

I'm just a porn cartoon
Anyone can see
I'm just a sexy comic...
Reality doesn't apply to me

(begun at ShiokazeCon 2006 after one too many people pointed to the display and said, "Wow, her back must REALLY hurt!" Completed today in honor of this thread.)

Comments

[jinwicked.livejournal.com]

This is probably an opportune time to tell you that when I talk about you to other people, I usually refer to you as Mr. Tits.

No hard feelings, of course. It just makes me laugh.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

S'okay- for several years at AggieCon my nickname was Mr. Porno Books.

(And it's gratifying to know I'm actually talked about. }:-{D )

[jinwicked.livejournal.com]

Mr. Porno Books?

I think Mr. Tits is much catchier.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

This is true, even if it does make me think of George Carlin.

"Tits doesn't even belong on the LIST! It sounds like a cute nickname! 'Hey, here's Tits! Lemme introduce ya- Tits, Toots. Toots, Tits. All right!'"

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

Insight of the day:

"The cruelest thing you can do to a paranoid is to tell him that nobody cares about him."

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Cute!

[greatdragon-ad.livejournal.com]

lol

I love that song from Queens. Never knew you write lyrics of a milkmaid verssion of it. That really made my day. Your writing never cease to amaze me. Thanks, man.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

I filk (make up new words to old tunes) now and then. Sometimes I do it on the spur of the moment, to respond to a given situation. The first section of this was just such a creation.